How Low Emotional Intelligence Affects Relationships
低情緒智力怎么影響人際關(guān)系？
Low emotional intelligence is a problem that can have an influence on a wide variety of social relationships. Some experts even suggest that?emotional intelligence may actually be more important than IQ?in determining overall success in life.
低的情緒智力是一個(gè)可能對(duì)你的社會(huì)關(guān)系造成很大影響的問題。一些專家甚至認(rèn)為情緒智力實(shí)際上比智商更能決定一個(gè)人是否能成功。
Think about the last time you got into an argument with someone else because they did not understand how you felt. Or consider the last time you had conflict with another person because you could not understand what they were feeling. In both cases, emotional intelligence might play a role in the underlying conflict.
想想上一次你因?yàn)閯e人不理解你的感受而和別人發(fā)生爭(zhēng)吵的時(shí)候?；蚴窍胂肷弦淮我?yàn)槟悴荒芾斫鈩e人的感受而導(dǎo)致的爭(zhēng)吵。在這兩種情況下，情緒智力都可能是導(dǎo)致爭(zhēng)吵的本質(zhì)原因。

Emotional intelligence?can play a major role in how we interact with others. Sometimes coworkers, employers, friends, family members and other acquaintances might struggle with poor emotional skills that make social situations difficult and fraught with tension. In other cases, it might even be your own emotional intelligence skills that need a little work.
情緒智力在你與他人的交流中占據(jù)著重要作用。有時(shí)同事，雇員，朋友，家庭成員和其它熟人都可能因?yàn)樵愀獾那榫w控制技能而讓社交情景變得困難且緊張。在這些情況下，你自己的情緒智力技巧可能會(huì)有些作用。
An individual’s level of emotional intelligence is often referred to as his or her emotional intelligence quotient, or EQ. Here are some of the classic signs of low emotional intelligence:
一個(gè)人情緒智力的高低經(jīng)常被用情商來指代，或者說EQ。以下是一些經(jīng)典的低情商的表現(xiàn):

1. Getting in lots of arguments.
1. 時(shí)常陷入爭(zhēng)吵

You probably know someone who always seems to get into arguments with others. Friends, family, co-workers and even random strangers find themselves embroiled in disputes with these argumentative individuals. Because low EQ individuals struggle to understand the emotions of others, they often find themselves arguing without considering how others are feeling.
也許你認(rèn)識(shí)一些人，他們似乎很容易就和別人爭(zhēng)論不休。朋友，家人，同事，甚至是陌生人，都發(fā)現(xiàn)他們和這些易于與他們產(chǎn)生爭(zhēng)論的人陷入過糾紛。因?yàn)榈颓樯痰娜撕茈y理解他人的情緒，導(dǎo)致了爭(zhēng)吵是因?yàn)樗麄兛偸菬o法考慮別人的想法。

2. Not understanding how others feel.
2. 不能明白他人的感受

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Low EQ people are often completely oblivious to the feelings of other people. They don’t?get?that their spouses might be angry at them or that their co-workers are irritated.? Not only that but they also feel very annoyed that other people expect them to know how they are feeling. Emotions, in general, tend to exasperate people with low EQ.
情商低的人往往完全不理會(huì)別人的感受。他們意識(shí)不到他們的配偶或同事可能會(huì)很生氣。不僅如此，他們也對(duì)他們被希望能理解他人這點(diǎn)而十分憤怒?？偟恼f來，低情商的人很情緒化且易怒。

3. Thinking that other people are overly sensitive.
3. 認(rèn)為別人過分敏感

People who are low in EQ might crack off jokes at inappropriate times. For example, they might make a joke at a funeral or right after a tragic event. When other people react to such out-of-line jokes, the low EQ individual may feel like others are simply being too sensitive. These individuals have difficulty understanding the emotions of others, so it’s little wonder why they are unable to interpret the emotional tone after such events.
低情商的人總是在不恰當(dāng)?shù)臅r(shí)候開玩笑。比如，他們可能在葬禮或是其他悲傷的事發(fā)生后開玩笑。當(dāng)其他人對(duì)這類有些出格的玩笑做出反應(yīng)時(shí)，低情商患者覺得他人總是太敏感了。他們很難理解別人的感受，因此也并不奇怪為什么他們?cè)谶@類事件過后也不能正確理解別人的情緒基調(diào)了。

4. Refusing to listen to other points of view.
4. 拒絕聽其他的觀點(diǎn)

Low EQ individuals feel that they are right and will defend their position with great vigor, yet refuse to listen to what others have to say. This is particularly true if other people are critical of how the individual does not understand what others are feeling. They are often pessimistic and overly critical of other people’s feelings.
低情商的人認(rèn)為他們總是對(duì)的，并會(huì)十分積極的維護(hù)他們的觀點(diǎn)，同時(shí)拒絕傾聽別人的觀點(diǎn)。如果他人對(duì)于這位（低情商患者）不理解別人的感受提出質(zhì)疑，那就更明顯了。他們總是消極對(duì)待并過分質(zhì)疑他人的感受。

5. Blaming others for mistakes.
5. 責(zé)備別人的錯(cuò)誤

People with low emotional intelligence have little insight into how their ownemotions?might lead to problems. When things go wrong, their first instinct is to blame others. They often blame characteristics of the situation or the behaviors of other people for their actions. They might suggest that they had no other choice for what they did and that other people are simply not understanding their situation. This tendency to not take responsibility often leaves them feeling bitter and victimized.
低情商的人幾乎意識(shí)不到他們自身的情緒可能導(dǎo)致的問題。當(dāng)事情出問題時(shí)，他們的第一本能就是責(zé)怪別人。他們總是把原因歸咎于環(huán)境的特征或是其他人的行為。他們可能會(huì)說那時(shí)的行為是因?yàn)閯e無選擇并且其他人都不懂他們所面臨的處境。這類不負(fù)責(zé)的方式也常令他們感到痛苦并受傷。

6. An inability to cope with emotionally-charged situations.
6. 無法應(yīng)對(duì)情緒化的場(chǎng)景

Strong emotions, whether their own or those of others, are difficult to comprehend for those with low emotional intelligence. These individuals will often walk away from such situations to avoid having to deal with the emotional fallout. Hiding their true emotions from others is also very common.
不管是別人的還是自己的激烈的情緒，對(duì)那些低情商的人來說都是很難理解的。這類人通常會(huì)遠(yuǎn)離情緒激烈波動(dòng)的情景以逃避可能出現(xiàn)的情緒崩潰。在他人面前隱藏自己的真實(shí)情緒也很常見。
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7. Sudden emotional outbursts.
7. 突然的情緒爆發(fā)

The ability to regulate emotions is one of the?five critical components of emotional intelligence. People with low EQ often struggle to understand and control their emotions. They might have unexpected emotional outbursts that seem overblown and uncontrollable.
情商的五個(gè)重要衡量指標(biāo)中就有控制情緒的能力這點(diǎn)。低情商的人在控制和管理情緒這點(diǎn)上很吃力。有時(shí)他們可能會(huì)突然出現(xiàn)夸張且難以控制的情緒爆發(fā)。

8. Difficulty maintaining friendships.
8. 很難保持一段友誼

Because low IQ people often come off as abrasive and unfeeling, they have difficulty maintaining friendships. Close friendships require a mutual give-and-take, sharing of emotions,?compassion, and emotional support, all of which low EQ individuals struggle with.
因?yàn)榈颓樯痰娜丝偸潜憩F(xiàn)的令人厭煩且不理解別人，他們很難維持一段友誼。一段親密的友誼需要相互的給予，感情分享，同情，和情感上的支持，所有的這些都是低情商的人很難做到的。

9. Lack of empathy.
9. 缺乏同情心

Because people with low emotional intelligence do not understand the emotions of others, they experience little?empathy?for other people. They do not get what others are feeling, so it is impossible for them to place themselves in another person’s shoes.
因?yàn)榈颓樯痰娜撕茈y理解別人的情緒，他們也很少對(duì)別人產(chǎn)生同情心。他們并不能理解別人的感受，也因此設(shè)身處地的換位思考對(duì)他們來說幾乎是不可能的事。
Poor emotional intelligence can wreak havoc in multiple areas of a person’s life. School, work, family, friendships, and romantic relationships are just a few areas where a person with low EQ will encounter major problems. If you think that your emotional skills could use a little work, start by learning more about the?five major components of emotional intelligence.
糟糕的情商可能會(huì)對(duì)一個(gè)人生活的方方面面都造成破壞。低情商的人在學(xué)校，工作，家庭，友誼，愛情這些方面都可能遇到問題。如果你覺得你的情商還沒有那么有效，可以試著從了解情商的五個(gè)主要因素開始（提高自己的情商）。

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