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滬江小編：男生們，有沒(méi)有一種被戳中心思，內(nèi)牛滿(mǎn)面的感覺(jué)啊！真相帝果真是真相帝啊~

真相帝：Chris Rock著名的喜劇演員，主持人，編劇。他在脫口秀節(jié)目中的表現(xiàn)尤其奪人眼球，而在這里小編呈現(xiàn)給大家的就是Chris Rock一系列關(guān)于男女關(guān)系的脫口秀節(jié)目，看來(lái)不禁令人捧腹?。?/span>

中英原文：

It's right!So, right fellows, you got to talk,you got to talk.Fellows you got to talk.That is women's biggest complain.You do not talk. You do not talk.You do not talk.You need to talk. Let us talk.You do not talk.That is why women love to talk and it is right.They are talking the Olympics,the men would not stand a chance.Women love to talk but they do not want to talk to you. They want to talk to their men.But women do not want you to talk! Talk!Women just want you to listen, listen!As I say, all the women really want you to do is ask her the correct questions that will allow her to run her fucking mouth.
這就對(duì)了伙計(jì)們，你得說(shuō)話(huà)，你得說(shuō)話(huà)?；镉?jì)們，你得說(shuō)話(huà)。這是女人最大的抱怨。你不說(shuō)話(huà)，你不說(shuō)話(huà)，你不說(shuō)話(huà)。你得說(shuō)話(huà)，讓我們說(shuō)話(huà).你不說(shuō)話(huà)。這就是為什么女人們愛(ài)說(shuō)話(huà)，而且沒(méi)錯(cuò)。男人和女人參加“聊天奧林匹克”的話(huà)，男人一點(diǎn)勝算都沒(méi)有。女人們熱衷于聊天，但是她們不愿意和你聊天，她們要和他們的男人聊天。但是女人們并不想要你說(shuō)啊說(shuō)啊~她們只想要你聆聽(tīng)，聆聽(tīng)！我的意思是，所有的女人只想要你做的是問(wèn)她們正確的問(wèn)題，這樣她們就可以開(kāi)動(dòng)她們的嘴巴了。

You said an option knock him down.Fellows, you want your woman to be happy?All you got to say is: How was your day? How was your day? Honey, how was your day?You know why? Because how was your day is a 45 minute conversation to a woman and as a man, you do not really got to talk.You just act like you talking like,aha！Get out of here. Go.I do not believe you.You don't say,Really?Get out of here, Go.I don't believe you.I do not believe you.Get out of here.
一個(gè)選擇就能把男人們打到了伙計(jì)們，你想要你們的女人開(kāi)心嗎?你只需要說(shuō):你今天過(guò)得怎么樣？親愛(ài)的，你今天過(guò)得怎么樣？知道嗎，因?yàn)椤澳憬裉爝^(guò)得怎么樣”對(duì)于女人意味著一場(chǎng)長(zhǎng)達(dá)45分鐘的對(duì)話(huà)，而作為男人，你并不需要真正的說(shuō)什么。你就裝作在和她聊，嗯哼！ 得了吧。一邊去。我才不信咧。你又不講,真的??？得了吧，一邊兒去！我才不信咧！我才不信咧。得了吧。

I tell you that bitch is crazy.You got to throw in,I tell you that bitch is crazy.You know why? Because every woman got another woman that her job that she can not stand.Woman you all exaggerate everything, always turning it into some dynasty shit like: She is trying to destroy me? What the fuck are you talking about? You wrap uo bags in JC penny's. What she doing, she is ripping up your paper?
我跟你說(shuō)了，那女人腦子有問(wèn)題。你一定要配合她說(shuō)這句話(huà)我跟你說(shuō)了，那女人腦子有問(wèn)題。因?yàn)槊總€(gè)女人覺(jué)得她職場(chǎng)上有個(gè)她受不了的女人。女人們喜歡夸大一切事情，總是小題大作，例如：我覺(jué)得她要?dú)Я宋遥∧阍谡f(shuō)什么呢？！你在JC PENNY'S里面做包裝工，她要怎么來(lái)著，難道在那邊拆包裝嗎?

Besides fellows you have got to talk.Women is exact opposite.You gotta learn when not to talk. That is right.Anyone knows how no man comes home straight from work?No man comes home straight from work. A man get up while he got to go somewhere.He got to bring something. He got to smoke something. He got to watch game. He got to hang with his boys. He got to take a drive. He got to do some that will mentality prepare him for all the talking. He go here, where he get hugged.
此外，伙計(jì)們你們得開(kāi)口說(shuō)話(huà)。女人則恰恰相反。得學(xué)著什么時(shí)候不該說(shuō)話(huà)才對(duì)。大家都該知道沒(méi)有男人下班了直接回家的吧沒(méi)有男人下班了直接回家的。一個(gè)男人他起床就要上班他要養(yǎng)家糊口.他要抽煙,要看球賽,他要和朋友們出去玩要,去開(kāi)車(chē)兜兜風(fēng),他要做一些能讓他精神上做好思想準(zhǔn)備的事情,就在他進(jìn)門(mén)被擁抱的瞬間.

Ladies! Ladies! Not that you talk too much. You just pop too much with get in the fucking door! Let a man get situated.We do not need everything right away as soon as you take one step and you bla bla bla bla...Let me get my other foot into the fucking door! Let me get something to eat!Let me get something to drink. Let me take a shit! Go in the fucking kitchen and get me my piece of chicken.
女士們，女士們，并不是你們說(shuō)了太多。只是男人剛進(jìn)門(mén)你們就涌上來(lái)。讓男人修整一下再說(shuō)我們現(xiàn)在不需要所有東西左腳剛踏進(jìn)門(mén)你就開(kāi)始唧唧歪歪。讓我把另一只腳踏進(jìn)門(mén)再說(shuō)！讓我整點(diǎn)吃的。讓我搞點(diǎn)喝的。讓我拉坨屎。去廚房拿我的那份雞肉來(lái)。

I'm outta here.Thank you New York.
我撤了。感謝紐約。

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