導(dǎo)讀：又到一年畢業(yè)季，各式各樣的畢業(yè)典禮，總能勾起一代學(xué)子的念念不舍之情——那些在校園的青蔥歲月，那些與同學(xué)談天說地的日子，那些為了考試畢設(shè)奔前跑后的辛酸和值得……

面對又有一批學(xué)子即將離開校園，老師總不免囑咐幾句。雞湯熱淚，該灑的都灑了……但是今年廈門大學(xué)的畢業(yè)典禮上，代表教授的發(fā)言：“圖書館帶不走，實(shí)驗(yàn)室?guī)Р蛔撸熋谩?，這個好像可以帶走…還有，不要隨便叫陌生男人老公，不論他多有名有錢?！毙Φ沽艘黄?/span>

看多了勵志畢業(yè)演講，好像這種幽默范兒反而更讓我們笑中帶淚了呢~國外也有滑稽幽默的畢業(yè)演講哦，英語君節(jié)選了部分，在幽默中，尋一尋回憶里的感動和對未來的展望吧！

1. ELLEN DEGENERES,?Actress,?Tulane University, 2009
著名脫口秀主持人、演員艾倫·德詹尼絲，2009年杜蘭大學(xué)畢業(yè)演講

Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
追隨你的激情，忠于自己，別盲從別人的路，除非你在樹林里并且你迷路了，那么你務(wù)必要走你看到的那條路。

2. ERIC IDLE,?Actor and Comedian,?Whitman College, 2013
演員、喜劇明星艾瑞克·愛都，2013年惠特曼學(xué)院畢業(yè)演講

You probably remember the first time you got drunk. Who knew the room would go round and round and round? They don't say that on the bottle, do they? 'Warning: The room will go round and round and round.' So be careful of that. When the room is spinning, you've pretty much had enough. It's the same with marriage.
你可能還記得第一次喝醉。誰知道整個房間會轉(zhuǎn)啊轉(zhuǎn)啊轉(zhuǎn)?。控澅娜瞬粫敲凑f，不是嗎？友情提示：房間將變得轉(zhuǎn)啊轉(zhuǎn)啊轉(zhuǎn)啊。你得小心了。當(dāng)房間正在旋轉(zhuǎn)，你已經(jīng)喝的差不多了?；橐鲆彩侨绱?。

3. STEPHEN COLBERT,?Writer, comedian and TV host,?Northwestern University, 2011
（《扣扣熊報告/深夜秀》）主持人、作家、喜劇演員史蒂芬·科拜爾，2011年西北大學(xué)

And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
……且我們沒有手機(jī)。如果你計劃與某人在暴風(fēng)雪中見面，并且他們沒有出現(xiàn)，你就不得不假設(shè)他們被狼吃掉了并且繼續(xù)你自己的生活。

4. FRED ARMISEN,?Actor,?Oregon Episcopal High School, 2011
演員弗萊德·阿米森，2011年俄勒岡主教高中畢業(yè)演講

Remember that there's no one way of doing things. You know how when you unscrew something it's 'righty tighty, lefty loosey'? If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.
記住，做事情并不止一種方式。你知道擰開什么東西的時候“右擰擰實(shí)，左擰擰開”是怎么操作的吧？如果你拿一個錘子，用力敲打，不管它是什么，我向你保證你能打開它。

5. BRADLEY WHITFORD,?Film and television Actor (NBC's West Wing),?University of Wisconsin, 2004
電影、電視（NBC電視劇《白宮風(fēng)云》）演員布萊德利·惠特福德， 2004年威斯康星大學(xué)畢業(yè)演講

The sad truth is, I don't even remember who the speaker was at my graduation. I remember squinting a lot and a vague sense that I would never again be around so many attractive, available young people in my life. It is my solemn duty to inform you that that fear is entirely well founded. This is coming from a guy who works in Hollywood, by the way.
一個令人傷心的事實(shí)是，我甚至不記得我畢業(yè)的時候是誰做的演講。我記得我瞇著眼，有著一個模糊的感覺，我的生活中永遠(yuǎn)不會再有如此之多、有著吸引力的年輕人了。我很負(fù)責(zé)的告訴你，恐懼是完全有理由的。順便一提，這是來自一個在好萊塢工作者的心得。

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