After all, there are few places that can make someone seem as glaringly out of place as the school gates. There, in a sea of parents or babysitters clad, almost entirely (in my case at least), in jeans or suits or occasionally yoga gear, appearing in a quasi-skating dress and platform wedges, both of which constitute a sort of work uniform for me, is to feel a bit of a freak. It is to invite glances and speculation.
畢竟，很少有什么地方會(huì)像學(xué)校大門(mén)口那樣讓光艷照人的你看起來(lái)有點(diǎn)格格不入。學(xué)校門(mén)口接送孩子的父母或是保姆幾乎全都（至少在我的親身經(jīng)歷中如此）穿著牛仔服或是西裝，有時(shí)也會(huì)穿瑜伽服，在這片人海之中，穿著類(lèi)似滑冰服的短裙或是厚底鞋（這對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)都算是日常工作裝束）亮相都會(huì)覺(jué)得有點(diǎn)怪誕，不免會(huì)引起旁人的異樣眼光和猜測(cè)。
　　
“What do you do that you dress like that?” I have been asked more than once, and once a woman came up to me on the street after pick-up to say hi and introduce herself – we had a mutual friend – and said she had figured out who I was because of my handbag.
“你是做什么工作的，為何穿成這樣？”不止一次有人這樣問(wèn)我。一次，在我接完孩子后，一個(gè)女人走上前來(lái)跟我打招呼并自我介紹——原來(lái)我們有一個(gè)共同的朋友——她說(shuō)她是因?yàn)槲业氖痔岚耪J(rèn)出我是誰(shuí)的。
　　
Now, though I love my handbag (for the record, a big Louis Vuitton tote designed by Takashi Murakami for his show at the Brooklyn Museum that is weather-proof and capacious enough to house both notebooks and lunch boxes), and I know I natter on about the message of clothes all the time, I have to say I found the fact that my bag revealed so much about me a bit of a shock.
好吧，盡管我很喜歡我的手提包（借此機(jī)會(huì)我鄭重聲明，村上隆為他在布魯克林博物館的個(gè)展設(shè)計(jì)的大號(hào)路易威登手提包既防水，容積又大得足以同時(shí)放下筆記本和午餐盒），而且我也知道自己一直喋喋不休地談?wù)摲b所傳達(dá)的信息，但是我不得不說(shuō)，當(dāng)我得知手提包能夠泄露出那么多關(guān)于我的信息時(shí)，還是有點(diǎn)震驚。
　　
I am sure there are some schools and places where this would not be true – where my handbag would just be one among a sea of similar handbags – but both the educational establishment in London my kids used to go to and the one in Brooklyn that they currently attend are full of parents whose professions tend to the artsy, self-employed, dress-code-free end of the spectrum, and thus the majority of the ladies don't do lunch but do do Ashtanga. And here's the thing: at school you're not representing you, you're representing your children – and most children find their parents embarrassing enough without having to worry about their clothes marking them out as Other.
我可以肯定，在有些學(xué)校、有些地方，這些都不會(huì)成立——在那里我的手提包不過(guò)是相互類(lèi)似的包山包海中的一個(gè)——但不管是我的孩子們?cè)?jīng)在倫敦就讀的學(xué)校，還是如今在布魯克林的學(xué)校，都有許多家長(zhǎng)的職業(yè)向藝術(shù)家氣質(zhì)、自營(yíng)、沒(méi)有著裝要求的那一端傾斜。因此大多數(shù)女士不吃午餐，但會(huì)練Ashtanga瑜伽。此外還有一點(diǎn)：在學(xué)校，你代表的不是你自己，而是你的孩子——而大多數(shù)孩子在擔(dān)心父母的著裝會(huì)給自己貼上異類(lèi)的標(biāo)簽之前，就已經(jīng)覺(jué)得他們足夠令人難堪了。
　　
Indeed, not long ago I had another conversation with a fashion world mother who lives in London, about the problem of her spike-heeled Giuseppe Zanotti boots. “I wore them once when I dropped the kids off, and got my heel stuck in the grate,” she sighed. “I felt like I had a giant sign over my head saying, ‘fashion victim'. It was awful. Now I keep them in my bag until I get out of the area.”
事實(shí)上，不久之前，我與另一位在時(shí)尚界工作、住在倫敦的母親交談，話題是她那雙后跟又尖又高的Giuseppe Zanotti長(zhǎng)靴。“有一次我穿著它們?nèi)ニ秃⒆由蠈W(xué)，結(jié)果后跟卡在了下水道的格柵中，”她嘆了口氣?！拔业母杏X(jué)就好像額頭上貼了個(gè)巨大的標(biāo)識(shí)，上面寫(xiě)著‘時(shí)尚的受害者'。那感覺(jué)糟透了?，F(xiàn)在我把那雙靴子放在包里，直到離開(kāi)學(xué)校才穿上?！?br>　　
So, despite the fact that I know assimilation may be the wrong message to send to my children – that I should stand up for being different, dressing like an individual, and all the stuff I tell them when we have long talks – I have taken my cues from Mmes Schiffer and Macpherson and adapted. I have a costume for the school run that involves jeans, sneakers, T-shirts and wool jackets, and in it I play the role of Mum, even if 10 minutes later I, like Superman, throw off my Clark Kent camouflage and become Superfashionista. Well, OK, not exactly Superfashionista, but someone in YSL power platforms. The question is, when it comes time to trick-or-treat, which pair of shoes do I wear?
因此，盡管我知道接受被社會(huì)同化不是我應(yīng)該向孩子們傳遞的正確信息——我應(yīng)該支持與眾不同、穿出個(gè)人風(fēng)格、以及我和他們促膝長(zhǎng)談時(shí)告訴他們的一切道理——但是我已經(jīng)從席弗和麥克弗森女士那里獲得了暗示，并準(zhǔn)備加以應(yīng)用。我有一套接送孩子的專(zhuān)門(mén)裝束——牛仔褲、運(yùn)動(dòng)鞋、體恤衫與羊毛外套——穿著它們我扮演的是媽媽的角色，哪怕10分鐘后我會(huì)像超人那樣，脫掉克拉克?肯特的偽裝，變成一個(gè)超級(jí)時(shí)尚迷。問(wèn)題是，萬(wàn)圣節(jié)玩“不給糖就搗蛋”時(shí)，我該穿哪雙鞋呢？

1、沒(méi)有陽(yáng)光的白日如同黑夜。(快樂(lè)生活每一天)
?A day without sunshine is like night.

2、換句話說(shuō)，五指亦有不同。(大千世界，無(wú)奇不有。寬容心對(duì)待)
?On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3、百分之四十二點(diǎn)七的數(shù)據(jù)是現(xiàn)場(chǎng)編造的。
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4、百分之九十九的律師是毀壞律師界名聲的大老鼠。(律師界就是一鍋老鼠湯)
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5、永遠(yuǎn)記?。耗阏J(rèn)識(shí)的人中定會(huì)有一半居于平均線以下。(總有人處于低端)
Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6、最后笑的人思維最慢。(最后笑的人不一定因?yàn)樗菑?qiáng)人，也許還有其他原因)
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7、絕望僅僅是沒(méi)有激情的憤怒。
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8、早起的鳥(niǎo)兒或許有蟲(chóng)吃，不過(guò)第二只老鼠才會(huì)得到夾子中的奶酪。(韜光養(yǎng)晦，永不出頭)
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9、養(yǎng)育細(xì)菌吧。他們是某些人唯有的培養(yǎng)基(修養(yǎng)、文化)(英語(yǔ)里culture一詞 也有文化修養(yǎng)和細(xì)菌培養(yǎng)基的意思，這里一語(yǔ)雙關(guān))。(極端沒(méi)教養(yǎng)、吝嗇的代名詞)
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10、問(wèn)心無(wú)愧也許是壞記性的表現(xiàn)。
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11、改變無(wú)可避免，自動(dòng)販賣(mài)機(jī)出來(lái)的貨物除外。
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12、假如你認(rèn)為沒(méi)有人關(guān)心你，試試拖欠一下應(yīng)付款。(意見(jiàn)真的不錯(cuò)喔)
?If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13、有多少人相信特異致動(dòng)？舉起我的手來(lái)。
How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14、好吧，那么黑暗的速度呢？(光速與“黑速”到底誰(shuí)會(huì)更大一點(diǎn)呢)
OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15、當(dāng)所有東西都朝你運(yùn)動(dòng)而來(lái)，那說(shuō)明你走錯(cuò)了道。(眾人獨(dú)醒我獨(dú)醉)
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16、勤奮工作會(huì)在遠(yuǎn)期得到回報(bào)，而懶惰現(xiàn)期就會(huì)有所收獲。
?Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17、假如沒(méi)有酒鬼的話大海要深多少??！
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18、鷹翔九天，但是鼬鼠從不會(huì)卷入飛機(jī)引擎。
?Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19、假如你兩次被嚇得半死，會(huì)發(fā)生什么事呢？
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20、通靈之人為什么還要問(wèn)你的姓名呢？
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21、每個(gè)老年人心里都會(huì)有一個(gè)年輕人在問(wèn)：“怎么會(huì)發(fā)生這檔子破事？”
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"

22、只需記住——假如這個(gè)世界不是一張網(wǎng)，我們都會(huì)掉落。
Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23、光速快于音速。這就是為什么你在聽(tīng)到他人的發(fā)言后才會(huì)意識(shí)到他們的存在。
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24、生活并不太像一盒巧克力。它更像一罐墨西哥辣椒。
Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.