奧巴馬小女兒Sasha:我剛知道有人想殺我爸爸!
作者:一鹽姐姐譯
來源:onion
2012-07-29 09:00
I've always known my father was an important man. He is, after all, the president of the United States. But the other day, as I was running around on the playground, a thought suddenly occurred to me, a horrible realization that stopped me dead in my tracks: There are people out there who want to kill my dad. My dad. The man who is raising me, who asks me how school is every day, who takes me to soccer games and reads me stories when I can't fall asleep at night. People want to murder him. They want to murder my father.
我知道我爸爸一直是個重要人物。畢竟,他是美國總統(tǒng)。但是,某天我在操場上跑步的時候,一個想法突然掠過我腦海,它是個如此令人恐懼的發(fā)現(xiàn),以至于我當時就停下了腳步,楞站在跑道上:有人想殺我爸爸,我的爸爸。那個撫養(yǎng)我長大,每天問我“今天在學校過得如何”,帶我去看足球比賽,以及在我枕邊讀故事哄我入睡的爸爸。有人想謀殺他。有人想謀殺我的爸爸。
Doesn't really get more fucked up than that, now, does it?
還有什么能比這更糟糕?
When we first moved into the White House I was only 7 years old, too young to know that people wanted my dad dead. And I'll tell you what, I was a lot happier then. Now that I'm a little older, though, it's all becoming pretty clear. There aren't just four or five people who want my dad dead. Tons of people want to murder him. Tons. People in this country, people in other countries. The bottom line—and this is the cold, hard reality that I now fully understand—is that every second of every day, people are thinking of ways to kill the person I love and admire more than anyone in the world.
當我們一家剛搬進白宮的時候,我才七歲,對有人想謀殺我爸爸這點毫無意識。然而,說實話,那時的我比現(xiàn)在快樂得多。如今我長大了點兒,而現(xiàn)實清楚地擺在眼前。希望我爸爸死的人并不只有4、5個,而有成千上萬個!成千上萬個在美國的,或是在國外的人,都有。如今我終于明白了這個冰冷又殘酷的現(xiàn)實——每一天,每一秒鐘,都有人在琢磨著如何將這個全世界我最愛、最崇拜的人殺死。
Meanwhile, no one is plotting the murder of, say, my friend Amanda's dad. He's a computer technician. No one is trying to assassinate a computer technician. At no point in Amanda's day will she experience a rush of crippling panic due to the fact that, at any moment, a psycho wielding a semiautomatic weapon could step out of the shadows and unload an entire clip into her father's chest, killing him right on the spot.
與此同時,卻沒有人策劃如何殺死我朋友阿曼達的父親。他是個電腦技術(shù)人員。沒人會想殺一個電腦技術(shù)人員。在阿曼達的生活里,她永遠不會經(jīng)歷那種突如其來的巨大恐懼感,那種“突然間,她的父親就被暗中埋伏的神經(jīng)病拿著的半自動武器擊穿胸膛,立時斃命”的恐懼。
That's just true. You can try to comfort me all you want, but you know damn well that's just a fact.
這是實話。無論你如何安慰我,你也很清楚,事情就是這樣。
Here's another awful thing I've finally started to understand: The chances of somebody killing my father are so high that there is an entire force of men and women whose singular responsibility is to prevent that from happening. These people are specially trained. They create intricate plans specifically designed to protect my father, because no matter where he goes, somebody in the area probably wants to kill him. And look, I'm not some na?ve little girl anymore. I can get on the Internet. I can research American presidents. I know damn well the Secret Service doesn't always succeed. Ronald Reagan almost died, and he had a daughter just like me.
我還漸漸明白了另一個令人恐懼的事實:由于我父親被謀殺的幾率實在太高,以至于專門有一支由男男女女組成的隊伍,他們的使命很簡單:防止此類事件發(fā)生。這些人員都經(jīng)過特殊訓練。他們設(shè)計錯綜復雜的方案來保護我父親的人身安全,因為無論他走到哪里,都有被暗處的人謀殺的可能性。我已經(jīng)不是個幼稚的小姑娘了,我會上網(wǎng),會搜索“美國歷屆總統(tǒng)”。我很清楚特勤局并不會永遠都成功。里根總統(tǒng)差點被殺死,他和我爸爸一樣,有一個像我這個年紀的女兒。
Also, I know exactly who John F. Kennedy is now. And I know exactly what happened to him.
我還知道約翰-肯尼迪先生是誰,我也知道了發(fā)生在他身上的事情。
So, as this was all starting to sink in—and I was pretty shocked, as you can probably imagine—it occurred to me that I have my own Secret Service detail, which means there are also people who want me dead. They want me, an 11-year-old little girl, dead. Same goes for my mom and big sister. I mean, shit, they want to kill my whole family.
所以,當這些真相慢慢開始充斥我的腦海,我變得非??謶?。我也有自己的專屬特勤局保鏢,而這說明了有人想要我的命。對,有人想殺我,殺一個才11歲的小姑娘。我母親和我姐姐也未能幸免于此。他媽的,這些人想要我們?nèi)业拿?/div>
And you want to know what the worst part is? I have no idea where my dad is right now. I haven’t seen him all day. For all I know, he could be waving to a crowd of supporters at this very moment while some guy on a rooftop 2,000 feet away has his head in the scope of a high-powered rifle, just waiting for the perfect moment to splatter his brains all over the stage.
你知道最糟糕的是什么嗎?最糟糕的是,我連我爸現(xiàn)在在哪里都不知道。我已經(jīng)一整天沒見他了。他很有可能正在跟一大群支持者揮手,而這時一個隱匿在2000英尺外屋頂上的家伙,正在用大火力來復槍對著我爹的腦袋,伺機等待著那個最佳的時刻,來扣動扳機,讓我爹的腦漿涂滿一地。
Put yourself in my shoes for a second. Imagine you’re standing next to your dad, holding his hand and smiling, when all of a sudden a bullet pierces through his skull and drenches your sundress in blood.
設(shè)身處地為我想想。假如你是我,站在自己爸爸的身邊,拉著他的手微笑著,而突然間,一顆子彈穿透了他的顱骨,而你的背心裙瞬間被他的鮮血染透。
Seriously, do you have any idea how messed up that is?
你能想象這是多么令人絕望的場景嗎?
And I’m not operating under the misconception that all these people are going to get caught someday or just eventually give up. The most depressing thing is this will be going on for the rest of my life. Twenty years from now, when I’m living far away and have kids of my own, I could get a call from my mom with the news that Dad is dead. That he was blown to bits by a bomb in his car, and that they just barely found enough charred remains to identify the body.
我不會自欺欺人地認為這些謀殺者會被抓住,或放棄暗殺我爸的計劃。最讓人沮喪的是,這樣的恐懼將伴隨我一生。20年后,當我離家,在遙遠的地方安居樂業(yè),生兒育女,我可能會接到媽媽的電話,告訴我爸爸死了。比如,他被暗藏在轎車里的炸彈炸得碎尸萬段,而尸檢部門僅僅能依據(jù)殘缺的碎片來證實我爸的身份。
Well, great. I'm glad I finally figured all that out. Here's to a wonderful life, Sasha. I guess I'll just go outside now and play without a goddamn care in the whole fucked-up world.
哈,很好,我很高興現(xiàn)在終于明白了一切。薩沙,舉杯贊美這“美好”的人生吧!我打算現(xiàn)在就出門大玩特玩,再也不去理會、不去想這操蛋的世界。
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